ISTJ is an acronym for introverted, observant, thinking and judging, and is one of the sixteen Myers-Briggs Personality Types. They are known as the logistician personality which values integrity, responsibility, and rules. In this post, we will analyze ISTJ compatibility specifically for relationships and dating.
Although the ISTJ personality is not usually emotional and typically more grounded on the idea of correctness and logic, they still desire long-term relationships. It is also notable to say that because they don’t tend to be emotional individuals does not mean that they won’t express themselves, it just so happens that they struggle more than other personalities to express how they feel.
Given that they are dependable and responsible individuals, ISTJs tend to approach romantic relationships quite traditionally. Anyone compatible with an ISTJ must be prepared to follow the ideas of a traditional relationship that an ISTJ may have, as they tend to not stray from those values.
The ISTJ personality also tends to be quite reserved which can prove to be a challenge when it comes to dating and romantic relationships, however that shouldn’t discourage anyone from approaching them. ISTJs are loyal and believe wholeheartedly in fulfilling promises to their partner.
Finding someone compatible with an ISTJ might sound like a challenge but it’s not once it is understood what they are really looking for. Let’s explore the important aspects of ISTJ compatibility when it comes to relationships and dating.
ISTJs, Do They Flirt?
ISTJs might not flirt in the most conventional way that we might expect when we think of flirting. So how does the ISTJ flirt? If ISTJs find someone they think they might be interested in, they will show genuine curiosity in this person. This usually entails asking questions and making the effort to get to know them better.
They might occasionally try learning about a person through a friend but it is more common that an ISTJ will approach the person directly.
Now, just because an ISTJ will approach the person straightforwardly it does not mean that they will begin to flirt in the way that is expected. When we think of flirting, we might think of complimenting the other person or displaying outward emotions–an ISTJ will not resort to that.
They are not the best at putting their emotions on display and that will not change when they are getting to know someone. If they want to show interest quite bluntly, they might ask if the other person is single or looking for a relationship. If you are thinking of approaching an ISTJ don’t expect them to change for you.
ISTJs take relationships quite seriously and they treat dating or getting to know someone, equally. ISTJs will never want to lead someone on, so they are very careful with who they approach and how they approach them.
Their cautious nature leads them to only show interest outwardly if they truly feel like they will have a genuine connection with that person. After all, ISTJs are also very cautious with who they open up to and to who they reveal information.
Dating and Relationships with an ISTJ
It has already been established that ISTJs take relationships seriously and although they aren’t the type to wear their heart on their sleeve they are completely dedicated to their partners. The ISTJ will make the necessary effort to establish a strong relationship and ensure that it remains stable.
Given that they prefer a more traditional approach to dating and relationships, ISTJs don’t really partake in blind dates or hookup culture–they aren’t very fond of the unpredictability of it.
It is only expected that they would approach dating and finding a compatible partner through a rational lens like they approach most of their life. Casual dating is not something they seek, if they decide to pursue someone, they do it with the hope that it will lead to a long-term relationship.
They don’t see a reason to waste their time and energy on people that will not benefit them in the long run. Essentially, they will seek out someone they believe will be compatible with their values and that also meet their daily and long-term goals and necessities.
Commitment and Loyalty
Once they are with the person they believe is compatible with their ISTJ personality, they will prove to be one of the most loyal companions that anyone can have.
Loyalty for an ISTJ entails fulfilling any promises they make to their partner, and although they might not express it, their feelings are revealed through their commitment to their word. It is only natural, that they too expect their partner to also remain true to any promises or agreements that are made.
Since revealing their emotions is sometimes a challenge, another way that ISTJs display their affection for their partner is through acts of service. The ultimate goal for an ISTJ is to provide support for their partner, and that it is also mutual.
It is important to point out that the need for traditional values can also be suffocating and restrictive to partners who might be more spontaneous and carefree.
When it comes to relationships, ISTJs like things to be done a certain way and will most likely not have any desire to change their views. It can be common for logisticians to promote gender roles and a family structure that stems from those roles. Someone compatible with an ISTJ must be comfortable accepting those traditional values that are so important to their partner.
It is worthy to note that ISTJs are not appreciative of public displays of affection. The typical small gestures, like holding hands and hugging aren’t an issue. The problem arises with grand romantic gestures in public, they don’t look to showcase their affections in any physical way in front of strangers. It is not wise to expect an ISTJ to have a change of heart when it comes to PDA.
What attracts an ISTJ?
Now that we have discovered what ISTJs value in relationships and dating, let’s explore what attracts them. ISTJs are rational and observant individuals so it is no surprise that they value someone who is intelligent and capable of being equally as observant as them–these qualities are guaranteed to attract an ISTJ.
Being an enthusiast for facts and practicality, they don’t tend to like when people debate or argue for theories that are not backed up by factual information. It is also notable to mention that indecisiveness is a guarantee in turning away any ISTJ.
ISTJs are attracted to people who share similar values, so anyone that doesn’t respect honesty and rationality as core values to their daily life and relationships is not going to attract the attention of an ISTJ.
Also, their preference for factual information over emotion-driven decisions can clearly turn away an ISTJ from a potential partner who is in need of more emotional support than logical explanations.
The Compatible Partners for an ISTJ
The summation of all of these aspects, how an ISTJ flirts, what they look for and how they behave in relationships, as well as what attracts an ISTJ, reveals the true compatible partners for this personality. So what qualities does a compatible partner for an ISTJ have?
ISTJs are rigid when it comes to their determination in establishing a traditional relationship, so a compatible partner for this personality would be someone who shares those same fundamental values. This personality is proven to instinctively want to support their partner, and that person must also be willing to become a support system for their ISTJ compatibility.
This personality also tends to be quite fixed on their own beliefs. Since they hold logic highly, they believe that whatever is “correct” is the way things need to be done; it is unlikely for an ISTJ to change their mind when it comes to correctness. That being said, a compatible partner will have to be amenable to an ISTJs ideas.
A compatible partner must also be capable of communicating clearly as ISTJs are not fully attuned to their emotions and are not likely to pick up on other’s emotions. A partner to an ISTJ must be able to express how they feel, as giving subtle hints to how they actually feel will not garner the attention of an ISTJ.
Another important quality that a compatible partner for the ISTJ personality is honesty. There is nothing an ISTJ despises more than someone who isn’t honest and true to their word. ISTJs will sacrifice whatever necessary to keep their promises and cannot fathom how others cannot do the same. Honesty is a fundamental value for them.
Here are some personality types compatible with the ISTJ: ENFP, ESFP, and INTJ.
ISTJ are loyal companions who value long-term relationships and will always make the effort needed to support and maintain a healthy and secure relationship. They tend to be stubborn when it comes to their values and how they lead their daily life, but they are dependable individuals that make great parents and spouses.