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8 Findings for ISFJ Relationship Compatibility and Dating

The ISFJ personality type, also known as the Defender personality type, are known for their emotional intelligence and analytical abilities. Although these things make for great people skills the ISFJ can be shy at times.

The ISFJ personality type is very kind and nurturing, to the point that some people take advantage of their giving nature. Today we’re going to take a look at eight findings about how ISFJs function in relationships and romantic situations.

8 Findings for ISFJ Relationship Compatibility and Dating

In this post, we will dive deep into the compatibility findings of an ISFJ personality type with others especially in regards to their relationship and dating lives. In eight sections, we analyze one major area that everyone who interacts with an ISFJ person should know about for better communication.

8 Findings About ISFJ Relationship Compatibility and Dating

#1 You need to be willing to commit in order to attract an ISFJ

As a rule, ISFJs are looking for long-lasting and committed relationships, and they’ll be less likely to start a relationship that they can’t see becoming serious. Long-term and committed romantic relationships are some of the most important things in the world to ISFJs so if you’re looking to be in a relationship with one then you need to be willing to commit fully in order to protect yours and their feelings.

ISFJs take these things so seriously that you will need to show them that you are equally as serious about establishing a healthy connection that can stand the test of time as they are. If you can do this then you will usually be able to attract them.

If an ISFJ person finds out you are not as committed and serious as them in the relationship, this may cause them to step back and reevaluate their feelings about you even if you have a lot of common interests and life goals.

#2 ISFJs won’t be very obvious about flirting with a potential partner

ISFJs have a fear of rejection so they won’t usually be the ones to make the first move. This doesn’t mean that they aren’t playful, sometimes they will take the approach of being playful in a teasing way. So if an ISFJ is always trying to make you laugh then they might be flirting with you.

On the flip side, they may avoid you if they like you. In this case, they would take a different approach and try to get your attention even more indirectly but getting into the same friend groups as you. They do this because they’re afraid of their true feelings showing, which could lead to rejection.

Often ISFJs can be at their best and most comfortable in work environments as that is a familiar situation for them, and often tend to date coworkers because of that tendency.

#3 ISFJs will be able to sense the emotions of their partner

ISFJs have been blessed with the ability to read others and know what people are thinking as well as know what other people need. Their emotional intelligence can be a great asset in a romantic relationship because they can sense what their partner is feeling and what their partner needs even if their partner can’t communicate it properly.

However, even though they can sense other’s emotions, sometimes ISFJs can have a hard time expressing their emotions themselves.

Even still, with their ability to understand other people’s feelings without it being told directly to them they can make ideal partners for introverted people. Since introverted people can sometimes have problems expressing their needs for romantic partners. And ISFJs can also be on the introverted side, they can get along well with a partner who is as well.

#4 ISFJs will work hard to keep their partner happy

ISFJs are very supportive of everyone and are known universally as helpers but this is magnified with their partners. Using their gift of empathy they will not only sense what their partners need but do their best to provide them with whatever those needs may be. ISFJs are so kind that there is a dark side to it that we’ll get to in a minute.

The desire to make others happy extends to all areas of a relationship, including intimacy. ISFJs will stop at nothing to make sure their partner is satisfied in this area. As long as they feel their efforts are being appreciated they’ll continue throughout the relationship to make this level of effort, in all areas.

#5 You need to show your appreciation to ISFJs

Although ISFJ’s love to make others happy (especially their significant others), they do need to receive some appreciation in return or they could learn to resent their partner.

So if you’re in a relationship with an ISFJ then you need to make sure to express your thanks to them, and this doesn’t just mean you can thank them verbally although that’s nice as well. The best thing you can do to show an ISFJ you appreciate them is to reciprocate the gestures.

If your ISFJ partner doesn’t feel that you’re thankful, they will start to feel very unappreciated and after a while, these feelings may bubble to the surface which could cause some serious problems in the relationship. And in the worst scenario, if an ISFJ is with a partner that is critical of them in spite of all they do then they will be even more likely to end up saying things they regret.

#6 You need to pay a lot of attention to what an ISFJ needs

Because they tend to be so selfless and shy at times it can be easy to forget that ISFJs have needs that have to be met as well. Their partners will need to be conscious of this fact and take special care to try and figure out their ISFJ needs and give them to them. Not only will it make them happier, but they’ll also see it as the reciprocation we talked about earlier.

Sometimes this can be difficult, however, seeing as ISFJs tend to put their partner first. And they also love harmony in their home, so they would rather not talk about what they need than cause a conflict to happen. Still, if you pay enough attention to them then you can usually tell what they need in most situations.

Don’t let this step backward about dating and pursuing something even more serious with an ISFJ person. They may require a little bit more attention in general but they also have a lot to offer in their relationships.

#7 ISFJs might be hesitant to have serious conversations

This goes back to their dislike of conflict, they don’t want to bring up anything that would disturb an otherwise harmonious environment. But this can potentially lead to them avoiding topics that may be important and should be discussed. This trait is made worse by the fact that ISFJs can be uncomfortable with change, so if the important discussion could involve talk of new things then they’ll avoid it even more.

Some of the conversations that they will put off having could be related to certain expectations that they could have of their partners. Due to their compatibility skills, ISFJs have the habit of not telling their partners what they expect of them and then getting disappointed with their partners when they inevitably don’t fulfill them. This trait can be frustrating for their significant others.

#8 ISFJs are very careful about how they spend their money

When it comes to ISFJs and money an important thing to note is that they find budgeting extremely important. They’ll always be conscious of how much money is going out, and they are strict with their own money. ISFJs don’t necessarily object to treating themselves, but they like all their spending to be organized.

So therefore in relationships, they will expect their partner to be similar to them in this area. Since they want their partner to be happy they will naturally be okay with their partners spending money on themselves and things to give them enjoyment, but they will also expect their expenses to be budgeted out in an organized way.


Overall ISFJs make fantastic partners that will always be willing to go the extra mile to make the people they love to smile. They don’t hesitate to invest in time and energy to support and inspire those around them.

ISFJ people continue to show the same support forever as long as their partners are willing to commit and treat them with that same respect they can peacefully live in harmony for their whole lifetime. So when dealing with ISFJs just keep all these things in mind, and enjoy the ride.

In order to check ISFJ people’s compatibility level with other Myers-Briggs personality types such as ESTJ, ESTP, INTJ, and INFP, please check the related links below. If there is no post for the two personalities you would like to compare, please contact us.