Tolstoy said, “what counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility.” This sentiment is very applicable when you look at a relationship between INTP and INFJ Myers-Briggs personality types. They have areas where they are very compatible, but the areas where they clash could be the cause for failure in the relationship. Let’s explore more about the relationship compatibility between an INTP and INFJ couple.
INTP vs INFJ
People with INTP personality type indicators are creative problem-solvers who keep their eye on the big picture and dislike rules or structures that confine their thinking. They struggle to make hard decisions and understand emotional connections since they rely on their sense of logic and reason.
INFJ personalities are versatile and can be flexible with how they think and interact with the world around them. They are also creative, passionate, and focused on accomplishing their goals. They take their values seriously and will defend them steadfastly.
13 Truths for INTP and INFJ Relationship Compatibility
#1 First impressions
INTP personalities might struggle to understand a flirty situation when they are thrust into one. They also tend to have a brutally honest way of interacting with others, which might be a turn-off for an INFJ.
When meeting new people INFJs are going to try to get to know new people and look for an immediate connection. They are charismatic and will be easily approachable for an interested INTP.
It might be a bumpy first meeting, but if these two connect, they will be in a position to move forward in the relationship.
#2 Driving force
INTPs are driven by taking the most logical path to a goal that they can. They always look to optimize efficiency in anything they do.
INFJs have a focus on humanitarian efforts and do everything within the lens of their core values and the needs of those around them.
While they are motivated for different reasons, these two will connect based on having the motivation and drive to achieve their goals.
#3 Communication misunderstandings
When it comes to communicating, INTPs are apt to be blunt and to the point. They will not take the time to think about what they say, and how it might be hurtful to those around them.
INFJs are very skilled communicators, and will always speak in a way that is warm and thoughtful. They look for deeper meaning in any conversation they have. Additionally, they value the relationships they have and will make an effort to communicate in ways that cause no harm.
They will butt heads when it comes to communication styles. To be successful in a relationship, the INTP will need to learn to hold back the brutal honesty to spare the feelings of their partner.
#4 Decision making
Making hard decisions is something every couple will need to face throughout their relationship. In this case, the differences in perspectives between these two will help them make well-rounded decisions as a couple.
While the INTP will consider what is the most logical approach, the INFJ will account for the emotional or humanitarian impacts of the decision being made.
#5 Completing tasks
INTPs love nothing more than to think about how things can get done and accomplished. But they can be a little bit impractical when taking steps to accomplish the tasks.
INFJs on the other hand, not only love to plan out their path to achievement, they will focus so hard on accomplishing their tasks that seemingly nothing will distract them.
Both INTPs and INFJs are great at focusing on how to accomplish certain tasks, but when it comes to completing them, they differ slightly.
#6 Emotional connection
As we’ve previously touched on, INTPs struggle with understanding emotions – both their own and others. They will have to work hard to connect on an emotional level with someone enough to understand what their emotional needs are.
INFJs are the complete opposite and base entire relationships and behaviors around the emotional connections they can build.
While INTPs desire to have companionship, they may struggle to understand their INFJ partner when it comes to connecting on an emotional level.
#7 Interesting conversation topics
When two creative and thoughtful personalities get together, they are bound to have some interesting conversations. INTPs especially are very intellectual and enjoy learning new things. They are always looking to develop new ideas, and who better to do that with than their romantic partner?
INFJs also are interested in exploring new thoughts and ideas. They are happy to discuss almost any topic as long as they can build their connection with their partner through the conversation.
Having a good rapport and easy conversation will always lead to a compatible relationship.
#8 Making improvements
As we’ve explored already, the motivations that drive this couple are vastly different, but they do desire to improve the world around them.
Although one wishes to improve the world for the sake of efficiency, and the other for the sake of humanitarian betterment, they have a shared interest in making improvements.
#9 Balance of perspectives
As a couple, INTPs and INFJs balance each other out very well when it comes to the way they perceive situations. They will help each other through almost anything since they are so different. The INTP will help to ground the INFJ in logic and see things reasonably. While the INFJ will help their INTP partner see things from a humanitarian perspective, and explain things from their “feeling” point of view.
#10 Cleanliness and organization
INTPs are prone to living in a messy and disorganized space. Their tendency to live in thought and out-of-the-box thinking translates to neglecting their day-to-day tidying chores.
That lack of organization will be a big problem for their INFJ partners. INFJs value a clean, tidy environment. They thrive in a clean space.
This difference in organizational needs could be a big source of conflict in this relationship and will require understanding on both sides to move past it.
#11 Perfectionist tendencies
Where they will share common ground is in their perfectionism. Both INTPs and INFJs desire to reach an idealistic goal. Sometimes this goal is achievable and sometimes it’s not. They will need the support of their partners to realize when it’s time to stop fixating on the impossible ideal.
#12 Conflict and resolution
INTPs can sometimes be disconnected and insensitive when it comes to interacting with other people. Not only will this be the cause for conflicts in the relationship, but it will also be an obstacle to resolving conflicts.
INFJs, like most intuitive-feeling personalities, value harmony, and will try to make adjustments to avoid conflict. They are empathetic enough to understand the emotional needs of their partners, but they are sensitive and often turn into themselves to handle their own emotions.
The biggest thing for an INTP and INFJ couple in conflict is that they will need to be open, honest, and clear about their feelings.
#13 Energy and rest
INTPs and INFJs are both creative, thoughtful, curious, and introverted. When they are burned out from trying to solve the world’s problems, they will gain their energy back from spending a night alone and taking in a documentary, or playing a strategy game like chess.
As we’ve explored these personality types more in-depth, we can see there is potential for a very successful, balanced long-term relationship. However, certain things could be disastrous for this couple, and they will have to work hard to overcome them.