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9 ESTJ Compatibility Findings for Relationships and Dating Male & Female

Relationships are all about to give and take, compromise and understanding, and moving through life together. In relationships with certain Myers-Briggs personality types, sometimes it can be harder to agree on a compromise. People with ESTJ personality type indicators love bringing the community together and love to spearhead challenging situations, but they like to do it their way.

ESTJs are compatible with a lot of different personality types but not as compatible with others. Let’s look deeper into 9 compatibility findings for relationships and dating an ESTJ.

ESTJ Compatibility Findings for Relationships and Dating Male & Female

9 ESTJ Compatibility Findings

#1 ESTJs as individuals

Building an understanding of ESTJs in relationships requires some foundational knowledge of who they are as individuals.

ESTJ people like to have responsibilities, projects, and plans. They are ruled by order, routine, and tradition. This is often to their detriment since they are concerned with what worked well in the past. They are usually disinterested in learning about what might work better in the future.

Even though they might come across as “bossy” from time to time, they are actually very skilled at bringing people together and driving the group towards their main objective. These are the folks who run our community fundraisers, often hold political office, and tend to have long tenures in their positions.

As logical thinkers, ESTJs are realistic and tend not to get too emotional over things. They are natural leaders who are excellent at working through conflicts and challenges, even if they don’t understand the emotional side of a dispute.

They value open and honest communication from everyone in their lives and always make their thoughts and intentions known.

#2 ESTJ people in social settings

In social settings, ESTJs are outgoing and enthusiastic. They love group activities like team sports, day trips to the beach, and big potluck dinners. They are never short on invitations since they are loyal friends who always ensure they actively plan and organize events.

They will usually have a good, solid group of friends, and they will be happy to include a new partner in their social lives.

#3 ESTJs as romantic partners

If you are looking for stability and straightforwardness in a partner, and ENTJ is an excellent personality type to enter into a relationship with. Not only are they incredibly loyal by nature, but they also tell it like it is and wear their hearts on their sleeves.

They will never leave you in the dark about where you stand and what their feelings are. They tend to have relationships that progress rather quickly due to their candor about their intentions for their relationships.

What might be missing in a relationship with an ESTJ is emotional intimacy. They have difficulty understanding the value of verbal statements of love or physically affectionate gestures. While they love and appreciate their partners, they show it in other ways.

#4 ESTJs and Commitment

ESTJ people typically have long, monogamous relationships. They like the traditional route of meeting, then dating, then marriage. This does not mean they will marry the first person they date, but it does mean that they will not hesitate to commit to the right person.

Their loyalty and devotion to one person usually lead them away from casual encounters.

Additionally, their desire to see things through to the finish will also mean that an ESTJ will never ghost you on a date. You will never be left wondering where you stand with them or their intentions for the relationship.

#5 ESTJ Relationship Strengths

In relationships, ESTJs are great long-term, trustworthy partners. They will happily take responsibility for tasks and complete them well. They have active social lives and love participating in group activities that they would love to include their partner in. They are fun and outgoing without being the life of the party and going overboard.

#6 ESTJ Relationship Weaknesses

People who tend to be a little bit more free-spirited will not enjoy the ESTJs desire to plan, organize, and schedule. Some romantic partners will find the over-planning to be controlled rather than caring. While this isn’t a terrible character “flaw,” it is not for everybody.

As “thinking” personality types, they also have difficulty understanding and coping with emotional situations. They can come across as dismissive when they actually do not understand the emotional need that is not being fulfilled.

#7 ESTJs and Communication

ESTJs are great at rallying and organizing the group. They can clearly explain what they want and what the best way is to achieve that outcome. In relationships, they work similarly.

They value openness and honesty and will always be clear about what they expect from a situation. They will also expect the same from their partners and value shared trustworthiness.

What they don’t have very open communication about is suggestions that there could be a better way for accomplishing a task. ESTJs are steadfast in keeping things to the status quo. Even though a suggestion might be a better method, it won’t always be received warmly.

#8 Most compatible relationships

Here are some personality types that are the most compatible with ESTJs.

ESTJ and ISTJ compatibility in relationships:

ISTJ people are the introverted counterpart to ESTJs. They also value common sense over intuition or overly optimistic thinking. ISTJs also like to plan, schedule, and keep things organized, which will work well in a relationship with an ESTJ.

As a logically driven couple, they will be able to recognize how the other shows love and affection, and they won’t crave the physical touch or words of affirmation that other personality types may need.

ESTJ and ENTJ compatibility in relationships:

ENTJ people are also great leaders who have a straightforward, rational approach to life. There will be a good appreciation for the planning and scheduling that the ESTJ will take responsibility for since ENTJs also like things to be orderly. ENTJs are also loyal and trustworthy in relationships. As logical thinkers, they don’t place importance on emotions in the relationship.

ESTJ and ISTP compatibility in relationships:

ISTPs are hands-on and will be happy to help their ESTJ partner execute the plans they have made. They enjoy working on projects, and as a couple, these two will have plenty to work on. While ISTPs don’t particularly like being told what to do, they are happy to collaborate with an ESTJ who has learned to filter their bossy side.

#9 Least compatible relationships

While personality types can indicate natural tendencies for people, they do not define them as individuals. The following is a list of the personality types that might struggle the most to find compatibility in a relationship with an ESTJ.

INFJ and ESTJ compatibility in relationships:

INFJs are incredibly empathetic, humanitarian, and emotional. Their sensitivity and emotional needs will not be a priority for most ESTJs, leading to incompatibility in a relationship. Additionally, both personalities are stubborn when it comes to certain things, resulting in some butting heads.

ENFJ and ESTJ compatibility in relationships:

ENFJs are similar to INFJs in that they are empathetic, humanitarian, and emotional. ESTJs might struggle to meet their emotional needs. And, while both personality types enjoy rallying a crowd to achieve a goal, ENFJs might be too altruistic for the traditional mindsets that ESTJs typically have.

INTJ and ESTJ compatibility in relationships:

INTJs are constantly analyzing the world around them in search of a better way to do things. This is not going to go smoothly with the tradition-rooted ESTJ. ESTJs are most comfortable doing the method that has always worked. They are not interested in finding a way to do it better. INTJs are also very introverted, and they might have a difficult time with the social lifestyle of their ESTJ partner.


Dating ESTJ people has its ups and downs. What some people would appreciate in a partner might be complete deal-breakers for others. ESTJs make loving, loyal, trustworthy partners who will love to get together with friends or other couples and find some exciting activities for the right person.

They will happily take responsibility for their share of household chores and will always let you know where they stand. For the right person, a relationship with an ESTJ can be very gratifying.